The Shark Whisperer: How Can I Feel Better About Myself?

BY: SHARK WHISPERER

The Shark Whisperer is an advice column that lets readers ask questions for guidance on how to deal with various problems in their lives. Whether it’s about love, friendships, or college frustrations, The Shark Whisperer is here to give you tips and ideas for tackling life’s everyday challenges.

Readers can ask for advice through DM, via our Instagram @liubknews.

(Gif Credits: Tenor.com)

Honestly, it takes so much time to personally feel better about yourself. As someone who had low self-confidence before, I found myself trying so hard to preserve and build up what people thought I needed—when in truth, the first step to loving yourself is by surrounding yourself with good feelings.

Self-esteem is a difficult concept to accept when you are constantly bombarded by social media and influences in real life. While it can affect nearly every aspect of your life, there are a variety of ways you can regain control of your self-esteem and grow into a confident person. 

First things first, you need to acknowledge the reality of where you are. Think about whether your thoughts match up with what’s actually happening in your life. Sometimes, our brains are so occupied with negative thoughts that we forget to take a second to stop, breathe, and reflect. 

I suggest counteracting these negative thoughts with positive ones instead. Here are some suggestions:

“They can do this better than I do. I’m a failure,” can instead be, “It’s a little harder for me, but I can handle this if I take my time.” 

“I failed this test because I can’t do anything,” can instead be, “I can take this test and use it to do better next time—I am able to try harder and be better than before.”

When you adjust your thoughts and beliefs, you slowly build up the ability to forgive yourself for small things. A single mistake can happen, but they do not define you as a person; take that mistake and try to make a positive change. 

Second, stop comparing yourself to others. Most of the time, the first thing people think about is others, even under stressful situations. At the end of the day, we are all human and we cannot always be perfect. There are times when you are not at your best, and I’m here to tell you that it’s okay when that happens.

Placing yourself into circumstances that pressure you into overworking yourself to please others can be a cause for low self-esteem. When you compare yourself to someone else, your mind nitpicks small details that overlook the good parts of who you are.

It’s important to find times where you can take breaks and put yourself before others, and work around you!

Likewise, you should create a safe environment where you can affirm that the people around you, the things around you, and the feelings around you are positive and full of genuine love. 

Another case of low self-esteem is that a person is nearby things that do not make them feel good about themselves. These aspects, such as your emotional environment and your social environment, in your life can influence the way you think—whether you realize it or not. It’s important to figure out which of them brings you joy and which brings you negative feelings. 

Cutting negativity can be difficult, especially when it involves people that you care about or routines you’ve grown comfortable with. While it can be hard to cut some of these things off, I find it easier to take it step-by-step and subtract the ones that are easier than others. 

Approach it like this: would you rather be stuck in a never-ending cycle of negativity or break it off to build a path of forgiveness and respect? There is no harm in removing yourself from someone who is stopping you from being your best self. 

By building a good support system, you feel more supported and secure with people you trust. If you really want, you can even take the time to help others and perform acts of kindness. 

Everyone has the ability to do good things—and by doing them, you release endorphins, a neurotransmitter that is a natural pain reliever and stress responder.

Most importantly, take the time to invest in yourself! It’s great to eat the foods you like, do activities that you enjoy, and have a little relaxation time once in a while. There’s no issue with spending some quality time with yourself, and it’s a great way to reflect and reshape your thinking. 

While these are some methods to boost your self-esteem, my last piece of advice is to take it easy on yourself. This whole process only works if you work with both your mind and body—and it’s very time-consuming. Even though self-esteem isn’t built overnight, every small, intentional act of kindness toward yourself creates lasting change. 

Well, the Shark Whisperer has whispered enough for today. I hope that anyone who reads this remembers that you do matter—and that you deserve to be respected and treated the way you want to be.